The coldness of Odyssues and a word about the "handmaid"

As I near the conclusion of The Odyssey - with Odysseus in the palace in Ithaca pretending to be an elderly beggar in order to get close to the legion of suitors and prepare a surprise attack at which he and Telemachus will wipe them all out - I can't help but be amazed at the emotional coldness of Odysseus. Obviously as we learn in the very first line of The Odyssey he's known not only for his great strength but his "craftiness" and he has formulated in his mind an elaborate plot to overcome a force that ridiculously outnumbers his - and his success depends on keeping his identity secret (even though he's already shown that he's very powerful, in a fight against a seemingly younger and more fit mendicant) - but the lengths to which he goes to conceal his identity are almost preposterous: he has a long conversation with his wife, Penelope, whom he hasn't seen in 20 years, who's been in constant mourning for him, and he spins a whole fake tale about his supposed homeland, Crete, where he saw Odysseus many years back - not giving the slightest hint to Penelope and not feeling torn or troubled or wracked by guilt and pain for not being able to reveal himself to her. He's identified twice: first, by his old dog, Argos, who slowly wags her tail and then dies - to me the most touching moment in the entire epic, so believable actually, except for O's reaction, which is essentially nothing - not a tear, not a choked up feeling? Second identification is from Penelope's elderly servant who recognizes a scar on O's leg (leading to a long back story about how he was injured by a wild boar during a hunt) - he makes her sweat to secrecy, which is fine, and then tells her: if you break this promise I'll kill you along with the other handmaids. Wow, to even consider that is quite appalling, and ruthless. A word about "handmaids" by the way: another example of the brutal class structure in "classical" society - these women hanging around the court are at best slaves but also, it would appear, sex slaves, as it seems evident that all this rubbing with oil and pouring warm water over the men's hands and serving bounteous dishes had a sexual component: these women are there to serve pleasure of the nobility; the Mitchell translation has them called, at various times, sluts and bitches, but we might also consider calling them what they were: prisoners.