Advice (unasked for) to a writer

Just a short post today on Ben Fountain's Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk, because I liked and admired many things about the novel but it just failed to draw me in - Fountain has a warm sense for character, he has a rare knack for handling an ensemble narrative, he incorporates a ton of research or observations that makes us really feel that we are in the bowels of Cowboys stadium as a big game is about to begin, he has high moral values and good intentions as he's writing an unconventional war novel not about the action of battle not about individual heroism not even about the military way of thinking or the military-industrial complex, subject of much satire and indignation, but about the celebrity culture in the U.S. that sends young men off to fight with no clear purpose and then makes unwitting heroes of them and feels self-righteous and virtuous in expounding on the support for the troops, for the boys in uniform, upholders of freedom and American values - Fountain does a nice job on this using odd typography for the easy virtues and the spouting off, with words dripping down the page almost like a late ee cummings poem. All that said: if I were in a writers' group with Fountain I would say you have to build some tension into your plot; another thing I admire is his devotion to the classical unities of time, place, and action - however, where's the action? There needs to be some tension around Billy: is he thinking of leaving the service? Is he worried about some action he's taken, or not taken? Even the romantic element - he develops an instant crush on one of the cheerleaders - is there anything at stake here? Does she ask him to do something for her that puts him in moral jeopardy, or that makes him doubt the sincerity of her ardor? I could give about a hundred ideas - maybe none of them any good - but I felt that the novel was just flat as the playing field, one minor incident after another with no clear design and nothing to capture my interest other than the topic itself. The book has received wonderful reviews, and I wonder if any other readers shared my reservations, my disappointment.