The scariest, saddest, most powerful story : The Death of Ivan Ilyich

L Tolstoy's "The Death of Ivan Ilyich" has to be one of the scariest, saddest, most powerful stories ever written. Yes, it's difficult to read, because of the graphic depiction of an anguished death, presumably caused by stomach or intestinal cancer (very hard for me because of the uncanny parallels with my father's death at 56). Yes, it's brutal in the treatment of Ivan's sufferings, not so much physical (though these are real) as moral, psychological, and existential. As he sickens, he becomes increasingly aware first of the shallowness, self-centeredness of his so-called friends and his family - an particularly galling scene occurs when his wife and daughter prepare to go to the opera and very uncomfortably talk with Ivan and it's clear they can't wait to leave his world of sickness and morbidity. Ultimately, his despair takes on a spiritual dimension - he questions first why would God do this to him (a pale echo of Job, as his sufferings are not beyond the norm but frighteningly within the norm), then whether there is a God, finally realizing his life has been meaningless, you live, you die, that's it, and he has barely lived. And then, there are brighter elements - the care that the peasant servant gives him (typically Tolstoyan sentiment, and very credible), and finally a very obscure spiritual awakening, an acceptance of is life and his death that brings him a moment of peace at the very end - mysterious, almost ineffable. Tolstoy knew more about death than any writer ever - see the amazing death scenes in War & Peace - and here it's distilled to about 50 pages, unforgettable.